The singer is retiring the beloved bit, so here are the best innuendo-filled lines she whipped up across more than 100 shows
Two years ago, Sabrina Carpenter was in Atlanta for the start of her Emails I Can’t Send tour. It was the beginning of the biggest headlining run of her career and she was feeling particularly generous and grateful on that first night. Midway through the set, she performed “Nonsense,” the addictive single from her fifth album — the one that walked so that her true breakthrough hit “Espresso” could run.
“Woke up this morning, thought I’d write a pop hit/How quickly can you take your clothes off? Pop quiz,” she sang, which should have been the end of the song. But Carpenter surprised the crowd with a custom ode just for them: “Come over tonight/ My room is spotless/I’m sorry this outro is so chaotic/Atlanta, it’s official/You’re the hottest.”
It all started out so simple, so silly. Carpenter kept the trend going for each night of her tour, which ran for 80 dates. Then, she customized outros for all 25 shows when she opened for Taylor Swift on the Eras tour. As the bit went on, the singer had to start getting creative to keep her fans on their toes — which meant that the outros would become increasingly chaotic, unhinged, and slick with innuendos. Since starting this trend, Carpenter has essentially built an entire brand around being a short and horny pop star with an endless well of tongue-in-cheek lyrics. She tweaked “Nonsense” for her appearances on Saturday Night Live and Jimmy Kimmel Live as well as her festival stops at Coachella, Governors Ball, and Outside Lands.
All of that outro writing bled into Carpenter’s latest album Short n’ Sweet, but she’s done talking nonsense on the record’s accompanying tour. The opening show in Columbus, Ohio marked the end of an era when the singer didn’t finish the song with something like: “Was so excited for this show that I was sleepless/The girls in here look flawless, y’all are dumb thick/He’s searching for my G-spot like Chris Columbus.” In honor of this lustful loss, here are the 10 best “Nonsense” outros Carpenter whipped up before retiring the bit after more than 100 shows.
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Coachella Weekend 2: Indio, California, April 2024
All eyes were on Carpenter’s Coachella sets this year for a multitude of reasons: not only was she fresh off an opening slot on Taylor Swift’s Eras Tour, but she had just released “Espresso,” a song destined to be a hit from the first moment it was out. Plus, she had entered a high-profile romance with It Boy actor Barry Keoghan, who just had a star-making turn in Saltburn. With Keoghan in the audience during the fest’s second weekend, Carpenter made her “Nonsense” outro that day all about him, referencing one of his many shocking, horny scenes in Saltburn: “Made his knees so weak, had to spread mine/He’s drinking my bathwater like it’s red wine /Coachella, see you back here when I headline.” — B.S..
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Saturday Night Live: New York, May 2024
Carpenter made sure her first SNL performance was wildly memorable and used the opportunity onstage for one of her best outros yet, hitting line after line of SNL-related double entendres. Wearing a soft-pink costume, she stared straight into the camera and sing out the iconic verse: “He is 30 rock hard ’cause I said ‘hi’/My sense of humor is but I am not dry/SNL I just came for the first time.” —J.L.
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Emails I Can’t Send Tour: New York, New York, May 2023
Just before her 24th birthday, Carpenter celebrated with a sold-out audience at Terminal 5 in New York City. She was nearly 50 shows into the Emails I Can’t Send tour and still finding new ways to keep the format fun. That night, she started off with a typical rhyme pattern: “You’re all super hot, but can you lip read?” Then came the switch up. Instead of speaking the second line into the mic, she silently mouthed: “Tomorrow is my birthday, I want dick, please.” Carpenter’s comedic timing kicked in an instant later, when she played the raunchy line off with a quick change of subject. “I said scream if you love New York City, that’s what I said,” she affirmed. “Scream!” — L.P.
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Emails I Can’t Send Tour: Los Angeles, California, October 2022
Carpenter’s 2022 album Emails I Can’t Send captures her side of the infamous love triangle she’d been embroiled in a year prior. Spurred by Olivia Rodrigo’s debut album Sour, Carpenter was “that blonde girl” that Rodrigo’s ex Joshua Bassett had moved on with. Carpenter wasn’t afraid to name names and make clear that at least one song on the album is not about Bassett or their controversial love affair while touring in Los Angeles in support of the LP: “I’ve got a personality but no tits/This song is not about Joshua Bassett/Los Angeles, your energy is big dick.” —B.S.
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Outside Lands: San Francisco, August 2024
Outside Lands 2024 marked Carpenter’s first-ever headlining festival set — so it goes without saying that she had to show out for the packed audience. At the end of “Nonsense,” a man in a white tuxedo kneeled down in front of the singer on the stage and presented her with a scroll. “Soon cometh my album, so exciting,” she read from the paper, laughing as she got to the final two lines: “My heart doth pound beneath my breasts, so mighty/Outside Lands, it’s like thou art inside me.” Carpenter could do Romeo and Juliet, but Shakespeare could never come close to crafting such a perfect “Nonsense” outro. —L.P.
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Salt Lake City: Utah April 1, 2023
Did they plan the tour so Carpenter could drop a dirty April Fool’s joke in front of a room full of Mormons? If so, give that tour manager a raise. Tailoring her smutty outros to fit the local culture isn’t that tough when you’re playing a den of depravity like Vegas or party capital like Miami. But how do you change up your style when you’re rolling through Utah? Rather than shock her fans in Salt Lake City, she riffed on their buttoned-up ways while keeping it right around the PG borderline: “Put your hands up if you live in Salt Lake/How do you get alcohol on Sundays?/I’m pregnant… Happy April Fools’ Day.” Well played. — J.D.
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BBC1 Radio Live Lounge: United Kingdom, February,2024
A play on words so gasp-worthy she had to do it twice: Carpenter couldn’t help but play with the pornographic double-meaning of BBC each time she did something for the storied UK broadcast company. The first time was in February when she appeared in the Live Lounge, making a cheeky reference to the other meaning of those letters. “I’m American, I’m not British /So BBC stands for something different /This Live Lounge is so lit ‘cause I’m in it,” she sang. A couple months later, while performing at a BBC festival, she made it clear that the company wanted her to clean it up. However, that’s just not her style: “BBC said I should keep it PG/BBC I wish I had it in me/There’s a double meaning if you dig deep.” —B.S.
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The Grammy Museum: Los Angeles, California November 22, 2022
A performance at the Grammy Museum is a special occasion for an artist hitting their career stride and Carpenter brought her A-game to this one, going in for a little self-aware, expectations-trampling irony, while also wisely sidestepping the Not Safe For Grammys content that’s always a hallmark of her “Nonsense” outros: “I procrastinate, don’t really plan these/Usually, I would say something nasty/But Imma keep it classy for the Grammys.” —J.D.
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Houston, Texas, March 23, 2023
When she went through Houston, Carpenter made sure to pay homage to one of the city’s hometown heroes and her own idol: “Made it to the outro how you doin’?/I’m starting to think love is an illusion/Beyoncé is the greatest thing from Houston.” The respect has been mutual; in a GQ interview, Beyoncé shared she’d been listening to Carpenter‘s country-tinged single “Please Please Please.” — J.L.
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Teen Vogue Summit: Los Angeles, California, November 2022
Doing an intimate sit-down performance at the Teen Vogue Summit in late 2022, Carpenter went for some warm deadpan minimalism: “I didn’t write an outro for tonight’s show,” she joked, leaving her fans laughing and cheering louder than if she had. — J.D.